I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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