just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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