He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize