summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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