No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
