just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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