Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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