I'm going to rape someone's good day.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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