Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize