a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
