I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
