Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
