summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
