too bad you live with your parents still
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So squirting runs in the family.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
