It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize