i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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