sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
