I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
