Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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