He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
