Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
