when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dicks are not precious.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
