cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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