For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
