I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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