Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
