yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
