I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
