I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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