Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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