I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
