I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
