you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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