I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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