Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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