thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
