Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
