Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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