what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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