i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
