It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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