I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
