if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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