Me too!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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