Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
