out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
