whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize