dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
