the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
