last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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