You work out of a Hotel?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
