I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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