so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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