Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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