I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
