I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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