tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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