I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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