My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
