Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
