He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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