Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
from now on my penis is your penis
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
