I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
