And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
