Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
